Hm.
Well, there is no easy way to say this...
One of my best friends from work passed away on Monday. I went to his funeral last night, sobbed my fuckin eyes out and looked at that cold body inside the golden coffin. He looked so different. So much older. He looked so grey and white and he was dressed so beautifully. Dressed beautifully. I was going into work and everything seemed fine, I walked into the back and there were a few people who looked extremely solemn. Stephanie looked at me and told me "Did you hear the news?" and I took my headphones from my ear one by one, making eye contact with her, not having a single clue as to what was going on. I said, "No, what news?" and then Tamara looked at me and said, "Limon is dead." and just like that, the world came crashing down. My eyes got wider, I sat down in the chair very slowly, still in shock. At first I didn't feel the tears, and then a minute later I felt my eyes burning and the warm tears started to seep out. I got up from my chair, ran to the bathroom and cried. I cried a lot last night. Haven't cried in months. I never cry.

The last thing we talked about was books. He told me he was going to lend me one and I kept asking him when I would see him again and he told me "I don't know". I said, "well, I'll see you whenever then!" and we departed separate ways. I didn't know that would have been the last time.

Tamara covered my shift so I could go to the funeral. When I got there, I was surprised that all of Limon's family knew who I was. They kept telling me that he constantly talked about me and he would refer to me as his cousin. They told me that he would always tell them about how I would exclaim to him, "You are my best friend" and I told them that he really was one of my best friends and they cried, and one of his relatives hugged me and told me that she felt I was part of the family even though we had never met before. Some of the other employees were there and I tried to take my mind off of it for a while. I just can't get over it, and even now as I am writing this, I feel the tears in my eyes. I wrote a poem for him. I wanted to read it at the funeral, but I knew I wouldn't be able to speak because I couldn't even talk without choking on my words.